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article about the importance of making time for quality time with your teenager.
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Teenagers need their parents to reach out for a genuine connection. Their
parents are still significant and fundamental
to their lives, and they still need a loving and supportive source in their
lives, especially with the changes they are going through. However, when our
child turns into a teenager it often seems that we lose a connection with them,
a connection we had built up over their younger, formative years. Some parents
feel a deep-down ‘mourning’ at the loss of this connection, but really, you have
not ‘lost’ your teen. Underneath he is still the little child you once knew, but
is now re-learning life and the world. He is building his own identity and
individuality, away from his parents.
A very powerful way to re-build a
connection and get your teen back is to have ‘special time’, or one-to-one time
together. This might be a block of time specially just for the two of you, with
no other siblings or family members with you. It’s a ‘treat’, could be a day
out, lunch out, anything. Here’s a few pointers as to best go about it:-
1.
When organizing Special Time, it is crucial that you keep your word. Once a
promise has been made and a date set, you must keep it. Breaking your word can
totally undermine your child’s trust in you and he may interpret this as meaning
special time is not important to mum or dad, or that they don’t really want to
do it. So when organizing your one-to-one time then make sure it is realistic
and achievable so there are no issues that can come up to get in the way.
2.
Show your teen that you really want to spend time with him. Make sure he sees
that. Your excitement about the up-coming event will show him how much it means
to you.
3. Get your teen to choose what you are going to do together. This is
the time when your teen ‘calls the shots’. It’s his special day. Follow what he
says, and give him the freedom to choose.
4. When out together, relax and enjoy yourself. Be willing to
let go and listen. Do not bring up sore subjects. Avoid those subjects that
you’ve brought up before that bring about the same negative responses. Special
time is about disconnecting from those old habits and reconnecting with the real
person inside your teen.
Out of this time your teen can derive a sense of
closeness and caring which will build their confidence in their ability to
think, to love, and to learn. You can build wonderful memories for both yourself
and your child, memories that will most likely stay with him for life, and of
course, build a close connection with your teen which will be valuable at his
times of insecurity and confusion.

About the Author:

Parenting teens in a powerful way. Rita Offen is Author of ‘The Chilled
parent’. Visit http://www.chilledparent.com/Ebook.htm for her free e-zine.

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